Nostalgia

Today I read a article with research that proved nostalgia boots self esteem. I could not agree anymore....

Think about it. After you have set adrift on memory bliss you begin to go into one memory after another, and pretty soon your smiling or even laughing out loud. This happens to me VERY often. I will be standing in line somewhere and just start laughing out loud thinking of certain times. After I have traveled back in time in my mind for that very second, I come out of the memory feeling happier then I did before I even thought of it. Weird.............

My nostalgia dates back from any time in my 24 years of memory. It could be something that just happened the other day, two summers ago, or years ago...There is always great memories of my childhood with my mom, or the summer we have famously named "the nitro summer" that included a road trip to Maine and Nantucket (rolling down the windows during the summer days and screaming out the lyrics to all the songs we played)it helped the hours go by in the car ride. My nostalgia even dates back to just last year or should I say my first year here in LA, or even to a few months ago.

My life has changed drastically in the last year, I have changed drastically in the last year. Iv had to grow up more and learn to be on my own in every aspect, and lets face it, being on your own is NOT easy, especially coming from a place where I totally admit I had many luxuries. Now its the real world, I work to pay my bills, and long hours at that. I live with my boyfriend and although we are trying to build our life together; sometimes its just not that easy because many obstacles jump in front of us. Although we always seem to get over them the process is still HARD. Then again, no one said it was going to be easy!

Lately there has been alot of stressful times; but I look back on a single memory and it forces a smile on my face. Luckily for me I have alot of great memories to look back on, even if they just happened the other day. Those are what makes the tough times easier.

I look at my adventure here in LA as me being Alice from Alice in Wonderland...or should I say Ashley in LaLa land. Im constantly discovering new places and people and constantly making sense out of it all, or I should saying "trying" to make sense of it all. Honestly, there are many times where I feel like Im sitting at the Mad Hatter's tea party and everyone around me just doesn't make sense and its complete CHAOS! And although the Cheshire cat may not ALWAYS be physically with me, he always pops up right behind me at the right times and is the only one that makes sense in this entire wonderland/lala land, well MY Cheshire cat, Billel. With his sarcastic wit and ability to make sense out of what I cant make sense out of, its clear that B is my Cheshire cat.

As I continue living in Wonderland and struggling over the obstacles, one thing stands for sure. My nostalgia. It helps me through EVERYTHING, whether its a thought, picture, or home videos we filmed on our trips, or sketches we filmed on a hot summers day in a apartment with no air conditioner. Its my medicine, its what keeps me as sane as I could possibly get. Its my life............


My Cheshire Cat and I..always walking in la la land...in unison :)