So these past few days have been INSANE...Not to mention work has been SLOW as shit..and everything in this world is annoying the shit out of me...
One of the things I have to be thankful for is my friends..because honestly if I didnt have any of you, this past weekend, I HONESTLY would NOT have survived...I know I just wouldnt have....
So many bumps in the road lately, and how I manage to still stay positive? Shit, I have no idea, but I do...I guess Im blessed that way....
Tommy leaves in a few weeks for 6 months...I try not to think about it, and even though we just had our really bad patch we are trying to fix things up...Whos to say if it will last, alls I know is we are trying, and I hate to say it but its really up to him because hes the one that needs to grow up ALOT in life...but then again, as I always get yelled at for, "thats what I get for dating younger men"..UGH whatever!
I had an audition today for a manager...Those of you not in the business..a manager and an agent are two different things..A manager has complete control of your career and manages you, and agent books you for auditions and jobs...I did my monologue and they wanted to sign me, However, I took the contract home for some thinking before I signed anything...my decision??? Not gonna do it... I KNOW, I KNOW! some people are like WHAT?? but I have good intuition, and I really dont think this is the best move for me right now..I trust myself so I believe it will be okay....but, it was pretty cool to get that chance to audition today! I know that I am lucky for that...
Meanwhile, work has been slow, so money making isnt so good right now.. Hopefully Hollywood will pick up soon because its pissing me off...I leave for Texas in 5 days to see the Kilbride side of my family..It should be nice to get away, head to the real south and spend some time with blood, maybe I can gain a clear mind while im there....
It still amazes me that with all this crazy shit, and unsteadiness, tommy parting soon, it amazes me that I havent truly gone insane or need any type of medication..maybe its just too early in the game for that :)
Next step in life??? Find something thats calming for the mind....Im almost done reading Marlon Brandons autobiography for the 2nd time, so I need to find something else to get lost in.....and for everyones information...Marlon Brando was seriously one CRAZYYYY person, his life was fucking CRAZY, and the things he did and his thoughts on things, and what he did on sets are so intriguing....but they make me smile...thanks Marlon!
maybe Ill be crazy like Marlon....hmmmm
ohh and p.s....Work has been slow, therefor money has been slow...and iv talked to a few people this week who have been upset about their paychecks and how it just seems so little in the skeem of things...but no matter what business you are in, entertainment or not, Marlon Brando once said "dont confuse the size of your paycheck with the size of your talent". So if your looking at your paycheck and seeing such a little amount for what you do, or what you think you deserve...Just because its a small amount dosent mean you arent amazing!
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