I took it back. Brando style :)

I can finally say I got my life back. I am back to my usual self again, and come to think of it, I havent been my usual self in months, even before Tommy and I broke up. I have been unhappy for a long time but I just didnt want to see it.

I honestly feel ontop of the world. I feel so blessed to be working all the time, and with that said, I feel proud to buy all the fancy things I like with my OWN hard earned money. This week I bought myself a nice new Blackberry along with some new Raybans that I have been wanting for months. It feels so good. I am def at a good place with my life right now..Finally................

I am so excited to be returning to NY for a few weeks again, and this time not for a negative reason! I cant wait to see everyone and enjoy time with loved ones. I get to spend my favorite holiday with my favorite people!!

Work wise I got a promotion in a way. Instead of doing the usual background work I got a job as a "stand in". That means that I was hired to stand in for a certain actress during the times that the camera sets up the camera angles and lighting hence why it takes many many months to make a film and many many hours just to film a few scenes. Its so the actual actor or actress themeselves dosent have to sit and stand there, they have their own personal stand ins..Which of course pays more money and you get to be more involved in all the action. I worked my ass off the past 2 weeks but it was def cool to be more involved and I finally got to use my training for once. I got the script every morning and I would have to look over my parts and know what I was doing and what not...in a way it also made me feel upset because I was standing in for a 13 year old girl who has a better career then me, but I swear my time will come, I feel it..

Things have been slowly coming back together and good Karma has come my way. I have many things to look forward to in the future and I am taking it one day at a time. I am free. I am finally free and I can do and say and feel whatever I want without being made to feel bad for it or that Im wrong for feeling a certain way. A huge weight has been lifted from me. I dont know how else to explain it.

Lately, I have been so into reading Marlon Brando's autobiography. He amazes me so much with everything he felt and did in life. I can relate to him 100%. He was such an amazing actor that could play any character, I find it funny that he didnt even enjoy acting, he just did it for the money and because he could. Iv been spending any free time I have reading his book, over, and over, and over again..it never gets old. For some reason he gives me such inspiration because although he had a bad name around Hollywood, he stuck up for himself and others on set, if they were treated unfairly or he was, he walked off the set. He did not take shit from anyone and he always said what he thought...


Anyway...I took my life back....Brando style :)